Weekly Weigh-in; Almost there

Well, I made my goal for the week. I lost exactly 2 pounds this week! It's an exciting little benchmark, because that puts me up to 35.1 total pounds lost; and I got to put up another badge on my left sidebar! :) The really exciting part, is that I have two weeks left until my birthday, and if I keep up the 2 pounds a week until then, I will be at the halfway mark on my birthday! Halfway to my ultimate and final weight loss goal of 77.7 pounds! I'm feeling good, and am confident in my reaching that halfway mark! So, we're almost there....2 more weeks. During these two weeks, I am going to focus on two specific things; getting in more water, and getting in more exercise.

I've noticed that now that I've gone 7 months only drinking water, that I don't focus as much on how much I'm actally intaking. In the beginning, I was so focused and structured about measuring how much I was drinking, and drinking glasses at certain times each day. I had to be. I hated water, and had to force myself to drink enough. I would reward myself with tea and milk, and 100% juice. Now that I LOVE water, and only have a cup of hot decaffinated tea on a really cold day, I don't focus on it. That has lead me to not get enough in, I think. I'm finding that I'm thirsty shortly before bedtime, and I can't drink that close to bedtime. So, I'm going to focus on consuming more in the day, and see if that helps!

Then there's the exercise thing. I've been really bad since Christmas and company, on getting it in everyday. Another thing I was GREAT about before. 6 days a week, without fail. Now I find myself getting in 2-4. Not good. I don't want to lose the muscle I've gained, I want to keep it and build MORE so I'll be keeping that metabolism high! Plus, I really notice a difference in my waist. Even though I've lost weight, my waist hasn't changed much. Not good either. The first thing I noticed when I exercised faithfully everyday, was how drastically my waist was decreasing! Got to get back to that...otherwise, how will I fit into those beautiful skirts I'm stocking my closet with! ;) (Thank you Mission Thrift Store) lol!

Thanks for being with me on this journey! It's so incredibly hard for me to lose the weight slowly. I want those numbers to fall fast, and to be honest, it's been a struggle barely seeing the scale move each week. I was really hard in October and November to increase my calories when I was losing too fast. I wanted to rejoice and take the big loses. But I can see why my doctors said to do it this way. It does make for lasting change! It makes for a happy, healthy body that has time to adjust to the changes too! Even though there are times I mentally break, and eat something I shouldn't, because I know it won't change the meager numbers I see each week, it's much easier to go back to eating the right way the next meal. It's easier because you know it's a managable lifestlye. It's not a cruel, depriving diet that seems impossible to keep up, so the desire to quit isn't really there.

I see so many of you reading that don't comment, and that's okay! It's encouraging to know you are reading, and that I'm not alone in this. My prayer is that something I say or share honestly, will help you in your own journey as well! Til next week...

Weekly Weigh-in; New Goals

Well, I decided I just had to find the time to post this morning. Hopefully, it won't be my workout that gets cut out to make the time! ;) My weight was up and down and up and down all week. It was beginning to be really frustrating, because in my own mind, there was no reason for it. I was eating great, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and to not get the results I thought I would get, was just SO disturbing to me. In the end, I weighed in at 189.6 this morning. That's a loss of 1.4 pounds. Not the great numbers I was expecting. However, what it did do, was remind me that this journey isn't all about the numbers. It's about the choices. The numbers are just a small reflective of those choices. What I am really wanting, is to better my health by leaps and bounds, and to completely change my lifestyle. The weight loss is a mere benefit of those things. I am still going down, which means I am still going in the right direction. I know those numbers will eventually show the wonderful choices I am making!

I am extrememly excited to be in the 180's again, and I am looking forward to staying in them this time...at least for a few weeks until I hit the 170's! ;) lol! It does bring me to face the reality of my birthday goal though. There is no safe way to reach the goal that I had set, at this point. I'm not going to jeapordize health for that goal, because the goal was made to better health, not harm it. So, instead of just writing it off, I have decided to alter it, and make a new one! I have lost 16 pounds since I made my 30 by 30 goal. If you add that to the 17.1 pounds I had already lost, that means that I am actually down 33.1 pounds so far!! VERY proud of that! Instead of insanely trying to lose 14 pounds in 3 weeks, I am making a new goal of losing 2 more pounds each week until my birthday! That will put me at a total loss of just about 40 pounds, and will put me in the low 180's by my birthday. I think that is a reasonable goal, and one still worth celebrating on such a monumental birthday!! :)

I have finally decided on my final goal as well. I have decided that I am not going to be happy with just getting down to a reasonable weight. I want to go ALL THE WAY! So, my final goal will be to hit 145 on or before July 1st! July 1st is when this journey began, and so I would like to be at my final goal weight within a year! 145 pounds for me, is a size 8, and that's what I'm going to shoot for. Not a 12, not a 10, but an 8! That's as small as my bone structure will allow me to get, and I'm looking forward to getting there!

I really have to get moving now, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you this morning, and do my official weigh-in! I'm going to keep making the next right choice, and hopefully I will see you next week, with a 2 pounds loss to report! Won't you make the next right choice with me??!!

Update

I just had to take a minute to let you know that I may not be able to do my Weekly Weigh-in Post on Thursday. This week has turned into a crazy week. I don't know how, but all of our appointments, commitments and major errands landed on this week. I'll try to get it in, but if I don't, it may be the next week before I post. I will report though, that I have lost weight so far this week, and I am fully back on track with my healthy lifestyle! YAY! :) My Shaklee vitamins have been great so far, and I already have an increase in energy from them! SO happy about that! Now I'm just waiting to get some for the kids. They really need better vitamins to get them through this cold and flu season! We haven't been sick yet, but the stuff sure is going around, it's only a matter of time!

Weekly Weigh-in; Too little Too late...?

I have been dreading having to type up this post. I don't think it was too little, but it was definitely too late. I had the HARDEST time getting back off those sugars, and back to the foods I need to be eating. I put off really doing it until Monday, and when I stepped on the scale that day, I knew it was too late. I had gained 2.6 pounds from Thursday to Monday. :( So, even though I went back to exercising everyday, doing my 4-5 mile walking videos, and eating healthy foods again; I am still looking at a one pound gain this morning. :'(  Seeing 191 again, is so disheartning, when I want to be 183 right now.

I have to tell you though, I'm still super glad that I have my 30x30 birthday goal. I am the kind of person that NEEDS a goal, and something to strive for, or I feel like I'm just aimlessly floating in space. We have goals for our daily schoolwork, and housework. We have weekly, bi-weekly, monthly and yearly financial goals. We have all kinds of goals! I need them, and so does my husband. So even though I am now 7.2 lbs behind on my goal, it motivates me to push forward. Without that goal, I'm afraid I wouldn't strive so hard to keep going. Whether I actually make it or not, it's keeping me moving in the right direction!

This leads me to share the brutally honest truth with you, for my own benefit, and maybe someone out there reading will benefit too. Lysa TerKeurst said in a Webcast session a couple nights ago, that if we aren't brutally honest with others, we can't be honest with ourselves. So, the truth is...I have learned that I have a true sugar addiction. It's not just that I enjoy eating sweets, or they make me happy, or that I just LOVE food. No, I have extremely unhealthy all out CRAVINGS for sugar. Mental and physical. I am also an emotional eater. I would eat when I was happy, eat when I was sad, eat when I was frustrated, mad, lonely, board, etc. Food was my comfort. And that food was always sugar based. I've never ran to a salad to ease my frustration! lol!

When I started this journey in July, I made the commitment to cut out all sugar and caffeine for 30 days. I spend the first 3 days on the couch, unable to participate in life. It took a week to really fully come around. That says something! Those first three weeks were the hardest weeks of my life. I was constantly battling cravings for soda, sweets, and pizza! There were times that I had to go to bed at 7:30 because I was miserable over not being able to fulfill those desires, and I coudn't stand being awake to bear it anymore. After that first month was over, it got much easier. Medical science now shows that there is a true chemical addiction, and MRI's show the reactions in the brain. It takes weeks to months to rewire our brains to have our pleasure sensors function as they should, but it only takes 1 week of eating poorly to rewire them back. :(

When I went to Tahoe for my cousin's wedding, I had no choice but to eat some sugars and unhealthy foods, or starve. There was no menu, there was eat this, or go hungry. That's all it took to throw me off. I had a 25 pound weight loss when I went, and by the time I had been home for 3 weeks, I had gained 5 of that back. I could not get back to eating right. I couldn't give up that sugar. That's when I started my 30 x 30 goal to get me back on track. 30 more pounds off by my 30th birthday. Today, I am still 14.6 pounds into that goal, and I'm proud of that!! The fact that I have still managed to go 6 months without a single soda of coffee, gives me great assurance in myself, that I can do this for the rest of my life! I just have to stay away from sugar. For me, it's not something that can be in my life.

All it took was 5 days of my parents being here for Christmas, and all of us eating cookies and such, to throw me off again. I was actually ahead of schedule on my 30x30 goal when they got here, and now I am 7.2 pounds behind. All because once I have sugar, I can't let go of it. I will say though, that even though it was still hard, this time was easier than the previous times, so I think my body is really making progress. My mind too. Instead of gaining all the weight back, or 5 pounds back, I've only gained 1. For me, sugar is a big no no. I can't have one brownie and be okay. Just like an alcoholic can't have one drink and be okay. Everybody's journey is different.

God has been teaching me that so much of this journey is about submission to Him, and not just losing weight. I've lost lots of weight in the past, just eating to lose weight, not eating to be healthy, and not eating to please Him. It's never been the way to go. Each choice I make with my food an exercise is about submitting to God's will for my life, and putting my body and mind in a position where it is fit to serve Him. What has really helped me since Monday, is praying before EVERYTHING I eat. When I thank God for the food I'm about to eat, and ask Him to help it to nourish me to good health, and fuel my body to serve Him, and my family....well you can just imagine what though runs through the mind if I am praying this over a cookie! ;) I hand it to one of the kids and I grab something else. I have forgotten a couple times. It's hard to remember when just grabbing a string cheese out of the fridge, but I think with repitition, it will become a lifelong habbit. I am learning to look at food as fuel. Fuel to help me carry out God's will for my life. Not as comfort, not as pleasure. God is our comfort, our family is our pleasure! :)

I am looking forward to EXCELLENT numbers next week! Pray for me! I got in my Shaklee vitamins yesterday, and I am SO INCREDIBLY excited to finally be taking them! I've wanted them for over 2 years. Ever since I tried their cleaning products, and fell in love with them. I just couldn't see spending that kind of money on vitamins when I wasn't putting much effort towards eating healthy or exercising. So, please come back next week, and I will have GOOD results for you!!!

Please Take The Time To Watch This...

I found this years ago, and I watch it every now and then to keep a good perspective on life. It gives me goosebumps and tears everytime. We will never know what some people have suffered in their life. Our "trials" are so trivial sometimes, and we focus on what we don't have far too often. Sometimes our trials are big, and come with a very heavy burden. What we are sure of, is that no matter where we are at in life, God is there, and if our focus is on Him, we will get through, and be better servants to Him because of it! Praise be to God!

Weekly Weigh-in

Well, believe it or not, I am HAPPY to report no weight loss this week. I had a hold this week. Yes, I am happy about that, in a sense, because it should have been a gain with how the week went. I didn't get exercise in every day, and I ate just horribly. :( I think the only thing that saved me from a gain, is that I did exercise portion control. I can't stress how important that is. If you are going to allow yourself a treat, DON'T OVERINDULDGE!!! That way, you are left without the regrets afterward.

This week was a real challenge, mentally. As much as we focus on the right foods, and exercises, it's amazing how much of weight loss is actually mental. Half way through the week, when I was a pound heavier than last Thursday, I just wanted to give up in that moment and eat the whole box of donuts that we had in the house. I was so focused on the fact that I was now almost 5 pounds from where I wanted to be at that point, that I felt all was lost, and hopeless. I kept thinking of how hard it was going to be to reach my birthday goal now that I had fallen so far behind. I didn't eat the whole box, but I allowed myself one. The next morning, I got up and was making hubby's lunch to send him off with, when I had an overwhelming realization.... I weigh 190 pounds. I haven't weighed that in 3-4 years, and I didn't even stay there for very long then. For the majority of the last 8 years, I have been well over 200 pounds. Why am I not happy that I am where I am? Being 190 pounds is a great thing for me, and should be celebrated! So, I decided to focus on how far I've come, instead of where I wish I were. Will I make my birthday goal or not?! I don't know. What I do know though, is that I have lost 32.7 pounds and feel better than I have in years! I know that my journey isn't over, and that if I keep my positive attitude, I will one day see the numbers that I want to see! It wasn't food or exercise that made or broke me this week, it was my own mind.

So, this morning is a great morning! I haven't done any damage to what I have accomplished, I haven't taken away from the weight I have lost. This morning I push forward, and expect a super fantastic week! I knew that the kids had already planned on having donuts for breakfast and pizza for lunch. (We treat them once a month, whatever they want for a day...within reason.) Knowing full well, that I wasn't going to turn down pizza, I made sure I got the long workout in, and I walked right past the donuts to the bananas!! ;) I also did my secret trick. The worst hinderance to a healthy eating routine, is hunger. Once we get hungry, we make the WORST food choices, because we are starving (we think) and so we grab the most convienient filling food, and we all know it's junk. So my trick is to always have healthy snacks on hand ready to go. Depending on where you are, and what you are doing, decides which snacks are best.  Some of my favorites are, yogurt (portable and great for the digestive system) nuts (full of protein and very filling, but watch your portion size) multigrain granolla bars (without artificial ingredients and esp without artificial sweetners) string cheese (mozz. made with at lest partial skim milk..Weight Wathers are my favorite..sold at Walmart.) trail mix (homemade without cereal and m&ms.) and my FAVORITE, a veggie tray. Veggies are best for you raw, and in their natural state. Once you cook them, you instantly lose vitamins and change the makeup of the nutrients in them. They can actually turn toxic to the body once cooked. It takes time to cut up raw veggies though, and when we are hungry, let's face it, it's not what we are going to go for. So, I like to cut up mine first thing in the morning when I am making breakfast. Then, I have them all ready to go in the fridge for when I get hungry, or have a craving. The best thing about chosing raw veggies for a snack, is that they don't have sugars in them, so they will stabolize your blood sugar, and keep further cravings from coming on. Here's my tray...

You'll notice there isn't any veggie dip in the middle. NOT a good idea to have that. There's no quicker way to ruin a healthy veggie snack than to load up on all the calories and artificial ingredients in dip. If you absolutely can't eat them plain, which I used to not be able to, then use a yogurt ranch dressing, or a vinaigrette. My favorite is Kraft Sun Dried Tomato Vinaigrette, and I've never liked any dressing but ranch my whole life. Barely use any though, or you are adding up calories quick. If you work outside the home, you can take these and put them in a small cooler to have on hand, or in a shared fridge if available. Nuts, trailmix, and granolla bars can go just about anywhere. I always have some in my purse. I don't ever like getting caught out somewhere, and being hungry. I will make awful choices, or if I make it home, I will overeat during the next meal.

This was me just a few days before Chrismas. I am celebrating how far I've come, and keeping hope for how far I will go! :)